The Third Party (Revised)
by Angel Grrl
Summary: A cliche...how typical. Actually, my first! Basically, this whole Third Party thingy has gotten outta control and old Voldie is gonna cash in!! ^_^ Don't flame me for politics. It's just humor. ^_^ Thanx and review!!!


A/N: OK everyone.....I just saw found this in an old newspaper. ^_^ It's kinda dumb....but I thought it was cute. It's for something useless. ^_^ Please review......PLEASE?!?!?!?!?! I'm begging!!!!!!!!  
  
  
"The Third Party"  
  
  
Scowling in his own private quarters the arch-villain and his smarmy henchmen are plotting on how to kill our hero. They all stand in a circle around their master with spontaneous gaps where others should be, because as we all know, evil people are too busy laughing their maniacal laughter to see that these spaces could easily be rectified by making a smaller circle. The evil one cleared his throat and looked at his followers....  
  
"I have a plan....."  
  
One of his followers spoke from inside the circle.  
  
"What is it, O great master?"  
  
Lord Voldemort smiled evilly.....  
  
"Why try force to take over the world....when it can simply be handed to me?"  
  
The crowd of deatheaters merely looked at each other in confusion....  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"This was a great idea, Herm," said our hero.  
  
  
Our three heroes were unpacking their clothes from their suitcases. Hermione, Ron, and Harry had decided to spend a week in America....well, actually Hermione had planned to spend a week there and had sucked Harry and Ron into coming along with her. She wanted to do some research on the difference between the wizarding schools of the world. After last year, when they had met the students from Beauxbatons and from Durmstrang, she was even more interested. SO, first stop, was the Salem Witches Institute.  
  
"Yeah.....really. I mean, think about it, TWO WEEKS, away from lessons, detention, and most of all, SNAPE!" said Ron, cheerfully.  
  
"I told you," said Hermione, "Not only is it a good idea for us to become familiar with the other wizarding schools around the country BUT now you can see some Muggle things, Ron."  
  
"Yeah....I guess so. Hey! What's this?" Ron asked  
  
Harry and Hermione looked over to where he was pointing. He was pointing towards a television set. Hermione went over to explain it to him.   
  
"This is a television set. You turn it on and it plays movies, and you sit and stare at them dumbfounded for hours at a time," said Hermione, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.  
  
"ReallY? COOL!" said Ron, "How do you turn it on?"  
  
Hermione, annoyed, turned it on for him and went back to her unpacking. There wasn't much on. A commercial for a restaraunt owned by some King...and served Burger's....and it came with a toy that was made by the lowest bidder...but other than that not much.   
  
"Hey, Ron?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Wanna sandwich? Hermione's just made some,"  
  
"Sure,"   
  
Ron then went with Harry to the small kitchenette and they all sat down to eat. There was a comfortable silence surrounding the three of them and as they sat there eating. Hermione's ears pricked up.  
  
"Hey Ron?"  
"Yeah?" he said, looking up from his sandwich.  
"Did you leave the tv on?"  
  
Ron froze and listened intently.   
  
"Oh, yeah...I guess I did,"  
  
He got up to go and turn it off. Then, upon exiting the room he yelled for Harry and Hermione once more.  
  
"Harry? Hermione? Will you come here please?"  
  
The two looked at each other and shrugging went to go see what it was that Ron had had to call them. He was pointing towards the tv.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
There was a picture of several men on the tv and there was a voice over.  
  
"The future of America is in your hands...."  
  
Hermione piped up, "Oh! That's an American campaign commercial. You know that the election's in a few months, right?"  
  
"Who are you going to vote for?"  
  
Harry was watching this intently as he had never seen a campaign commercial before....and neither had Ron nor Hermione.  
  
"A Republican lightweight from Texas?  
Or a Democratic stiff from Tennessee?  
Finally, there's a third option.  
A candidate for the people, by the people  
A candidate with charm and magic to make things happen...  
  
  
  
VOTE LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!!!"  
  
It was impossible to determine at the time......just who fainted first but the next thing that was heard was THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Then, Mr. I'm-Big-And-Bad came onto the tv in an Armani suit and sunglasses with the picture of an American and British flag in the background and spoke,  
  
"Why choose the lesser evil?"  
  
  
  
to be continued......  
  
A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! Pointless.....but I couldn't resist! Ok....the cartoon that I liberated that little speech thingy from is "Liberty Meadows" by Frank Cho. (It's a REAL cartoon! It was in the paper!) ^_^ Just a little thingy that was in the back of my head. Thankx for reading...and please review!!!  
  



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